Inclusion Starts with Self Acceptance

November 6, 2021

Something that I often observe not only in my clients when they first start coaching. I also notice it in other women too. Women who are afraid to be seen. Sometimes it is in the way they stand, a hesitancy in making eye contact, not returning a smile, looking at the ceiling, or a need to apologise for some part of themselves, these are just a few of the giveaway patterns.

The unseen is felt.

We give away hundreds of clues all the time about how we feel about ourselves, our sense of worth and value. And in doing so, we tell the world how to treat us. As humans, we all have unconscious biases. Those most like us are attractive to us. And we are less interested in those who are different. It is a natural mechanism of survival that has historically protected us from disease and death. We give off scents, subtle clues, and seemingly imperceptible signals in each move we make. And others respond to us accordingly.

A woman who does not believe that she is equal to all, or who does not believe that she deserves to be paid well is easy to spot. Insecurity has its own warning light. The truly courageous are klieg lights that can be seen for miles. It is these clues more than our gender, race or identity which inform the experiences and opportunities we will have in life.

In early childhood, we decide whether we will be happy or not, healthy or not, what profession we will have, what our family life will be like, at what age we will die and the cause of our death. We make these decisions based on loyalty, blind love for our family and our group belonging. We form most of these decisions in the early years of our existence. This life script lives in the subconscious mind and instructs the story of our life.

How can we change the script?

Systemic Coaching with Constellations is the most powerful modality available to set ourselves free from the script. When we are in the adult state; we accept things just as they are, we assume responsibility, and when we no longer live under the influence of the past. Then we can confidently step into the present, to live without a script.

In every moment of our lives, we have an opportunity to address these issues and develop ourselves. Only you can make that choice for yourself.