How to create the life you want.


“I am seeking, I am striving, I am in it with all my heart.” Van Gogh

It does not matter what your race, religion or background is, one thing is a given, your intention is to create a wonderful life for yourself and perhaps for your family too. The difficulty that some people find in doing this is that they were never really taught how to do so for whatever reason. Everybody is doing the very best that they can with what they were given.

Creating the life you want is a process that can be achieved by way of a few simple steps to set the ball in motion and there is no time like the present to start. I like to use the word create with my clients as the word implies that not only is your life a beautiful work of art, but that it is not too far removed from the artists experience of creating a masterpiece. When an artist sets out on a new creative venture the initial purpose is to bring an internal vision to life in a tangible way. Your life is in effect the same, to live with all your senses an experience of your mind, some of these are conscious many are not. If you take a moment to imagine what a successful life would be like, the journey is an inward one to begin with, from here you are inadvertently calling upon all of your senses to bring it to life in your mind, hence the expression active imagination. You are activating your imagination to first realise the experience in your mind and in so doing the story will come to life in reality. Pretty much everything you live takes place in your mind first, whether you are acutely aware of all that you are creating or not.  Thus you will live out the content of your imaginings if a strong enough association has been developed in your mind first.

So, the purpose of todays exercise is to understand  a few simple steps that you can utilise to create what you actually want, to create what is right for you.

The first step is to define your goal. What do you want? It is a very simple question that you may not often ask of yourself, but take a moment… breathe… relax and listen to yourself as you ask yourself the question. What do I want?

The answer may not come right away but rest assured, it will. Do you want a better job, one that you are passionate about? Do you want more money? Or perhaps you want to marry a wonderful partner. Whatever it is sum it up in one simple sentence and write it down.

Step two

Once you have identified what it is that you want, get specific. Write in as much detail as you can what it is you are looking for. For example; if it is a better job, ask yourself what hours you would like to work, how much money you would like to be paid, location, what aspects of your unique skills would the job engage? Take your time with this part of the exercise. It is not always easy to discern off the bat what it is exactly that you want, like any beautiful painting it takes time. First you need to establish the broad brush strokes and then the detail comes in, until finally the vision reveals itself clearly in a way that resonates with you. Here it can be useful to delve a little into the past to look at what you have learnt from previous experiences to gain an understanding of what works best for you. You may find that you come up with a few different variations of the final goal. That’s good. Choice can help you to hone what is best for you by feeling out each scenario.

The Third Step.

Once you have a clear idea of what your intention is by fine tuning what you have discovered in step two your mind is going to start throwing up reasons and excuses as to why it is not possible for you to accomplish your desired outcome. This is the time for you to be on full alert! This is the time to consciously and coherently counter each of those arguments. Presenting arguments is your mind’s way of keeping you in the comfort zone, your mind can often feel threatened by change, a legion of voices from your past programming will vehemently fight to stop you making progress. “It is too late” “You will never succeed” “ Who are you to think you can do this?” and so on… Sounds familiar right? You are not alone. However, it is important to remember that the only difference between you and those that do is overcoming this kind of thinking.


There is a wonderful story about the artist Joan Miro who at one point suffered terribly from a creative block as a painter, he could not or would not paint, he feared the blank canvass. One day an artist friend suggested that he should turn his back towards the canvass and without looking just put some kind of mark on the canvass. Miro followed this advice and turned around to discover that he had painted a star. From then on each time Miro started to work he would paint a star on the canvass to enable himself to overcome his fear of a blank canvass. Suffice to say it became the trade mark we know today of many of his great works.

If Joan Miro can overcome an obstacle of his mind then I am certain you can too. Deal with your “yeah buts” and “no buts” they are just an illusion of your mind. Make a comprehensive list of what stands in the way of your vision, writing it down will help you to see that it is the nay saying part of your mind that is all that is holding you back. Find holes in the arguments of your obstacles. It is at this point that it can be very useful to seek the assistance of a professional, a life-coach or hypnotherapist who can show you how to see things differently and look at your outmoded reasoning patterns to gain a new and healthier perspective. Some obstacles are valid and need to be grounded in reality in order to find a viable solution to overcome them.

Step Four

Make an intention to commit to realising your goal.

By this stage you will have a clear idea of what it is you wish to achieve, the obstacles will have been explored in a constructive and positive way. Now, all you have to do is commit to the action of making the dream a reality. Bottom line, having a dream and making it tangible requires a little effort, no matter what the size of the goal or dream is, it’s all relative. There is no room for second guessing yourself at this point. Set a date and go for it! I understand completely how daunting this can seem, fear is a powerful negotiator, thankfully so too is hypnosis which is why I love Hypnotherapy, it can literally punch the lights out of fear and doubt. Hurrah!

Step Five

Create it. Once you have removed the obstacles of fear, doubt and insecurity, now, is the time to go for it. I like to think of it as one of those old Spaghetti Westerns where a new Sheriff sweeps into town and cleans up the mess left by the rogues and bandits. Just one inspired bit of action a week can create a world of difference.

Step Six

Life is a beautiful journey, the destination is irrelevant, it is the doing that counts and every little thing that you do makes a difference. Getting to there from here quite poetically brings you to a new here. Just remember that little star that Joan Miro painted, without it some great works of art may never have been realised. You are not Joan Miro but in the wise words of Doctor Zeuss “…there is no one alive who is Youer than You”. It takes a little bit of time to create some kind of wonderful. It takes one sure footed step at a time. Soon enough you will come to see that getting what you truly want is not about luck or being born with a silver-spoon in your mouth it is about consciously taking one beautiful step at a time to reach the mountain top. I can assure you that whatever your mountain top maybe the view will be entirely worth putting that first star on your canvass.

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